Taking Risk

I'm moving on
After almost 3 years, I'm giving up
..and yes, that opportunity to escape came at the right time

I do feel sad
In fact, I cried when I finally made the decision
I'm not sure whether this is right
..but I forced myself to just close my eyes and move on

Now they know..
The feedback were as what I expected
They just smile
They just nodded
They just looked down to the floor

"You should be thankful, you get a second chance to prove yourself"
"Ya..it's good for you. You are too stress here. You don't know how to manage your stress here"
"Really? Owh..I thought here is good for you already. Why are you moving to somewhere err..smaller and unknown"

I feel slapped
Painful.
Frustrated.
Hatred.

You don't know how I feel
You don't know what I've went through
You just don't know

You said you understand
..but actually you don't

You said I'm complex
..yet you still punish me for my complexity
..for not being in the same wavelength with you

I just don't care anymore
I don't want to know
I just let go of everything
Why?

Because of you
I'm so fed-up
I've been scarred
My reputation already tarnished
What good can I bring anymore?
Whether I try hard or not, I'm just useless to you
You just refused to recognize me. to acknowledge me.

Just..let me go
Don't bother to think about me
You never did before

Why now?
Just let me be me
Don't say anything
Don't ever wave goodbye because I know it's all fake

You never care
..and never were

Just go away
You've hurt me
and now these scars will be with me forever..

Haru~



image credit: Google